New Skin Treatment Makes 80 Year Old Man Look Young Again

reported by BNP via the Exodus Examiner

How shiny was Moses' face? — How shiny was Moses’ face?

The well known Hebrew president, Moses Hatshepsutson, who had gone missing twice in the last few months, has been located again, according to our sources near the Hebrew’s mobile metropolis. Exact details are still being discovered, but it appears he has been spending time at a secret spa.

He has been since seen wearing a special facial cloth as part of the post treatment procedure. The few times it has been removed, there has been too much reflection off of his face to be sure how beneficial the treatment has been.

Only one of his aides has been allowed to accompany Mr. Hatshepsutson on these private escapes. The aide apparently does not receive the treatments, but guards Mr. Hatshepsutson’s privacy. The spa routine takes a full 40 days and might include special foods, because no one has seen food taken along on the trips. The participants are awarded a set of stone plaques, which list daily habits and attitudes to help keep them on track.

There is some conjecture that Mr. Hatshepsutson’s excursions have been of a scouting nature. He also had blue prints for an unusually large tent when he returned. (Since the Hebrew nation has not established a home territory all business buildings must be transportable for long term competitiveness.) The plans include descriptions of rooms for special procedures and equipment, including bathing areas and rooms for meditation.

No one outside the roaming Hebrew city is being allowed to access specific information about the spa and business model. Mr. Hatshepsutson himself is reported to be overseeing all the building activity. With all of the smoke and rumblings going on near the Hebrew facilities, nearby countries feel it is too soon to send welcoming delegations, but many leaders are talking openly of the need to establish good relations with the Hatshepsutson government.