Fines Being Levied After Unapproved Protest Pollutes Nile River with Blood

reported by BNP via the Exodus Examiner

A political protest against the current Egyptian government has resulted in massive pollution of the Nile River. Led by Moses Hatshepsutson, the attempt to put pressure on the Pharoah has not only failed, but has left many residents without drinking water. Egyptians are puzzled by the governmental response, which was to show they also had the resources to poison the Nile, making it even worse. However, the government-employed contractors will not be fined, because they had the necessary permits. The exact amount Mr. Hatshepsutson will have to pay will be based on his projected yearly income.
The previously serene, dictatorial Egyptian government was working fine until Mr. Hatshepsutson returned to the country a few weeks ago. As one disgruntled citizen put it, “The Hebrews were quietly making their bricks until he came along! Now, all of a sudden they are complaining about slave wages and asking for extra vacation time.” There was no information available about exactly how much the Hebrews were being paid, but reliable government sources were quick to point out that the Hebrews should be happy to have well-regulated government jobs.
This was not the first demonstration orchestrated by Mr. Hatshepsutson. In another recent display of dissatisfaction with the Pharoah’s policies, the snake trick was again used. Consequently, Mr. Hatshepsutson is also being required to pay for government equipment that his snakes ate. There have been conflicting accounts of how his snakes were able to do this. Also, many are voicing concern about how Mr. Hatshepsutson was able to get his snakes past palace security. The Pharoah’s top staff seem to be unavailable for comment.