New Kind of Rock Discovered at Rephidim

reported by BNP via the Exodus Examiner

It was with mixed feelings that countries east and north of Egypt received news of a new source of water in the Sin Wilderness.  It appears to simply be a matter of hitting the correct type of rock with a large enough stick. Travel, which has been notoriously difficult in the Sin due to long distances between working water stations, could be made much easier with this discovery. Since the United Canaanite Federation (UCF) has exerted its international authority to restrict extracting this precious resource for profit, fewer stations have been able to operate.
The UCF is already holding special hearings to evaluate whether or not this new method of water collection violates any international treaties or environmental regulations.  It has been hard to obtain specific details on the process, however, as there is a general hesitancy to approach Moses Hatshepsutson, the genius behind it.  There are unanswered questions about his involvement in the massacre of the Egyptian army. No amount of political influence or monetary reward has so far been sufficient to prod anyone to overlook the possible risk of irritating him.
Moses Hatshepsutson could not be reached for comment.  He seemed to be busy holding up his arms to inspire his troops during a skirmish with attacking Amalekian guerillas.  This is the first show of any military ability among the Hebrews.  Given the recent rumors of internal dissent among the Hebrews, the Amalekians may have hoped for an easy victory.
Allegedly, instead of appreciating all that Mr. Hatshepsutson and his staff had done to free them from slavery, a large Hebrew contingent had been threatening Mr. Hatshepsutson with violence unless he met their demands.  They are already getting free daily bread and meat, but were complaining about water delivery.  This seems to be what motivated Mr. Hatshepsutson to produce water from a rock, although why he is at all intimidated by the mob is confusing.  Perhaps his particular skills do not include repelling stones, which are unfortunately available to the average Hebrew citizen for throwing as weapons.

(for further information see Exodus 17)
previous article: Nutritional Soundness of New Manna and Quail Diet Debated
next article: Hatshepsutsons Unusual Decentralization of Political Power