Phicol Issues Warning About Foreign Women

reported by BNP via the Genesis Review
Amid rumors resurfacing that the Philistine president has, in the past, taken married women into his harem, General Phicol has issued a formal warning about marrying foreign women. Philistine men are cautioned to avoid even dating foreign women, especially if they claim to be the sister of the man they are traveling with. As soon as the warning was read, insurance companies began sending notices to clients, reminding them of the strict screening required for putting a foreign wife on the policy. Lawyers have started advertising some unique pre-betrothal contracts, while Dagon priests are highlighting their service of interpreting dreams for a small donation at the temple.

Although it has been a generation since the last international incident precipitated by a so-called “sister-wife” affair, long time advisors to President Abimelech say he was greatly influenced by it. When he became aware that the ruse was being perpetrated again, he quickly took action to protect citizens. A wealthy foreigner, Isaac Hebrew, had been living with the supposed sister in the capitol city for quite a while. He is the son of Abraham and Sarah Hebrew, a couple who impacted events in the region during their lifetime. Isaac Hebrew, along with his wife and two sons, has been asked to leave city limits.