Will The Real Christian Please Stand Up

The trouble with Christianity is that it is just too straightforward and simple.  Acknowledge your sinful heart; believe in Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior; then be free to live a grateful life, followed by a delightful eternity.  Why are so many opposed to this?
Some say Christians are gullible fools, that it couldn’t be that easy.  That’s like being out in a frozen wasteland and having someone sneer at you for putting on a coat.  It takes care of the problem perfectly, but they argue.  “Have you no pride?”  They offer complicated, self-esteem building exercises such as running fast in place.
Other say Christians are weak, or being cold is all a matter of perspective.  Sure, everyone in coats looks comfortable, but they are just putting up a front so you’ll be tricked into wearing one.  The disapprovers can’t really explain why the “coat-wearers” benefit from you also putting one on, but they are certain there is a sinister plot.  Instead they say, “Toughen up and deal with it.  Life is cold.”
I understand some of the confusion.  The label “Christian” has been co-opted.  Whereas to choose Christ requires nothing from a person other than acceptance  (but results in a brand new heart), sundry groups would attach all kinds of baggage to the relationship.  This creates cultures that only mimic Christian life, and the participants are merely puppets on strings.  The name Christian is retained, but each group is really just another man-made religion trying to fulfill the desire to be good enough by human effort.
Imagine giving a developmental test to a toddler.  Surely, if the child is quick to place the round block in the round space of the same dimensions, he is a good problem-solver.  On the the next challenge and let’s build some bridges!  But, no, the poor soul who struggles to jam the square block in by brute force is labeled “creative” and “forward thinking.”  If they succumb to the false praise, they spend the rest of their lives building on these misconceptions.  That is what human philosophies are like when compared with the seamless beauty of God’s solution.  These philosophies, even if the term Christian stays tacked on, are like a phony key.  You can hammer them into the keyhole, but they absolutely won’t open the door.
Real Christianity simply transcends all cultural boundaries, illuminates all questions, and provides ultimate answers.  It reveals condemnation only to immediately offer a compassionate way out.  It warns in order to save.  It offers omnipotent care from the Power that holds the universe together.
Minds darkened and resistant due to pride and power mongering conjure an astounding array of similar sounding alternatives.  They deceive themselves by recreating ancient lies.  Then they get mad at the truth and real Christians because, well, it’s irritating to see others so sure of themselves and happy.